The Secret To Raising Thankful Children Isn’t Saying “What Do You Say?”.

The Secret to Raising Thankful Children Isn't Saying "What Do You Say?"

"Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." — 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18

One of my favorite parenting memories happened when our youngest daughter was barely two years old.

We had just picked her up from the church nursery, headed home for lunch and naps, when the telephone rang. (Yes…this was back in the days of one phone hanging on the kitchen wall with a cord that somehow managed to tie itself into knots!)

The nursery worker was calling because she simply had to tell us what had happened.

After changing our little girl’s diaper, she stood her up and helped her get dressed. Without anyone prompting her, our tiny daughter looked up and said, “Sank U.”

The nursery worker was amazed.

We were amazed too!

Where had that come from?

Of course, we had spent plenty of time teaching our children to say “please” and “thank you.” Like most parents, we’d gently remind them after Grandma handed them a birthday present, “Now…what do you say?” They would dutifully mumble, “Thank you,” and quickly move on to the next gift.

But this was different.

No one reminded her.

No one prompted her.

Those little words came straight from her heart.

That sweet moment taught me something I’ve never forgotten.

There is a big difference between teaching children good manners and teaching them grateful hearts.

Good manners are important. They help children become kind and considerate people. But gratitude reaches much deeper. A thankful heart doesn’t simply recognize the kindness of people—it learns to recognize the goodness of God.

That’s the kind of thankfulness I hope to see growing in my children and now in my grandchildren.

The Bible tells us, “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). At first, that sounds impossible. Surely God doesn’t expect us to be thankful for every disappointment or heartache.

But He does invite us to be thankful in every circumstance because He never changes. He is always good. He is always present. He is always working—even when we can’t yet see what He is doing.

Sometimes Scripture even calls thanksgiving a sacrifice (Psalm 116:17). Isn’t that true? It’s easy to say, “Thank You, Lord,” when everything is going our way. It’s much harder when plans unravel, prayers seem delayed, or life feels heavy. Yet those are often the moments when gratitude becomes an act of faith.

So how do we teach that kind of thankfulness?

Surprisingly, not by reminding our children to say, “Thank you.”

We teach it by living it.

Our children are wonderful observers. They notice far more than we realize.

When our plans change unexpectedly, do they hear us grumble—or pray?

When something breaks, do they see frustration—or trust?

When blessings come our way, do they hear us pause to thank God out loud?

Little ears are always listening.

Little eyes are always watching.

One of the sweetest habits we can develop as families is simply noticing God’s goodness together throughout the day.

“Look at that beautiful sunset!”

“Wasn’t it kind of God to answer that prayer?”

“I’m so thankful Grandma could come visit today.”

“Let’s thank Jesus for this delicious meal.”

Before long, our children begin noticing those gifts on their own.

They start seeing God’s fingerprints in ordinary moments.

And gratitude slowly becomes less of something they say…

and more of someone they become.

Here’s the encouraging part for every parent and grandparent reading this: it’s never too late to begin.

We don’t have to create perfect children. We simply need to become people who delight in pointing out God’s goodness wherever we find it.

Because when children grow up learning to thank God on sunny days and stormy ones, they discover something far richer than good manners.

They discover contentment.

They discover joy.

And most importantly, they discover a God who is worthy of their praise every single day.

Carrie’s Reading Corner

This week, try playing a little game at the dinner table or before bedtime. Invite everyone to share three things they noticed about God’s goodness that day. They don’t have to be big things. A butterfly, a kind friend, answered prayer, a good laugh, or a warm cookie fresh from the oven all count! As children learn to notice God’s blessings, you’ll be amazed at how naturally thankful hearts begin to grow.